Not Your Grandma’s Christmas Blog

Christmas shopping can be described in one word: hectic. While it’s amazing to make someone’s jaw drop Christmas morning, the process can test your patience, will and love for your fellow human beings. So skip those crowded stores this year and buy online or at the very least, go in with a plan. If you’re having trouble coming up with gift ideas, feel free to take something off our Christmas lists:

Let’s start with Tracy’s list! She would like…boxing gloves? Oh, to fend off the activists – of course. Tracy also asked for a nice bottle of wine to ease her husband’s pain after each and every Raider’s game. Rounding out the list are flowers for her desk. You know, for those who want to bond with something that doesn’t have a life outside of work either. I wish my desk had flowers, they would hold down the fort after I get fired for that comment.

On the morning of Christmas, Julie would like to wake up to a never ending supply of Dr. Pepper and french fries. I’m pretty sure that isn’t in the budget. What may be in the budget however, are a couple tickets to a Taylor Swift concert. Hmm, she also mentioned a broken drum – we’ll go with that. You just can’t beat it!

For Christmas, Rachel would like a new camera to capture all of her baby’s firsts. She would also like a fruitcake, not to feed to the baby, but to re-gift later down the road. In retrospect, maybe the baby would like fruitcake – somebody has to, right? And lastly she would like a cheese and crackers cutting board, because when the party is stale, you got to get it crackin’!

I almost forgot about myself, who more than anything would like to go a festive season without hearing “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.” I would also ask for some hockey gear, surely to survive the onslaught of office supplies thrown at me for this blog post. But most importantly, I want a Golden Ticket, because nobody on this planet has the resources to fund my sweet tooth.

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Well, there you have it – a collection of what our office wants for Christmas. Be bold this season and give the gift everyone will remember. Just make sure to avoid the naughty list. Merry Christmas!

– Steven Gaede